Chaplaincy thrusts Susan Caswell into the midst of people’s lives—from the cradle to the grave and all things in between—and that's exactly where she wants to be. "I can just as easily find myself present at a birth as well as a death. Chaplaincy is a ministry of presence," she says.

Military chaplain Susan Caswell providing baptismal services to soldiers in the Iraq war.

Nowhere was that presence more powerfully used, and felt, than during Caswell's time as a military chaplain in Iraq.

The chaplain and her unit were deployed to Iraq in 2003 when the United States launched "Operation Iraqi Freedom." At the combat support hospital where she worked, sights and sounds of wounded and dying soldiers were her constant companions.

In spite of those memories, she voluntarily returned to Iraq in 2005 knowing full well the horrors of war that awaited—because she knew that's where God wanted her. "Bringing God onto the battlefield was one of the most rewarding experiences of my chaplaincy," she says. "These soldiers had lots of questions. 'If I die, what will happen to me....Where will I go?'"

Caswell's ministry of presence in Iraq was the fruit of a circuitous personal journey. At age 39, this single mom was a successful hospital administrator with an undergraduate degree in finance and an MBA from Yale University. Her life was on track with all systems go, but something, something, was creating an irresistible urge to change direction.

Always mission-minded, she planned to work in hospital administration in Third World countries. A "sense of call," however, began to speak to her heart. She wasn't pleased with the message: "I kept hearing the word 'military,' and I would say, 'No, Lord, it's mission, not military.'"

But this was an argument she would not win. In 1995, 13 years after graduating from Yale, she entered Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, Calif., to prepare for her second career—military chaplaincy. The journey was full of roadblocks. "I found many closed doors," she says. "First I tried the Navy and was told I was too old and besides, I am a female." Caswell persisted, however, and it paid off. The American Baptist Churches USA endorsing agent, sponsored by National Ministries, encouraged her to try the Army, which she did. Finally, she gained acceptance into the mostly male world of military chaplains.

Caswell, now a captain, works as a chaplain recruiter at Fort Meade in Maryland. Her thoughts often return to Iraq. Despite the human misery she witnessed, she says her spiritual encounter with God was a compelling and affirming one—even though she had to wage a war of her own against the horrific memories that followed her first deployment. Writing became an effective weapon: "I was looking for an artistic way to describe how I felt. It helped me to let it go emotionally."

For this second-career chaplain, serving in Iraq was unlike anything she had done before. "I felt I was being so powerfully used by God. I felt it an honor and a privilege to be part of that."

Read Susan Caswell's poem, "Lessons from Iraq II: Night Duty," and her narrative story, "Lessons from Iraq II: Hope, Light and the Purple Heart Ceremony."

Contact chaplain Caswell, susan.caswell@us.army.mil, with questions or comments.

Visit the American Baptist Chaplaincy and Pastoral Counseling Web pages at http://www.nationalministries.org/caring_ministries/chaplaincy/

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